Realization : I can only change Myself !
You know, part of the problem with all this 'spirituality' stuff is that many times we end up using our thought patterns or even spirituality, enlightenment, grace, prayer and silence itself as a means of deflecting reality from us rather than immersing ourselves into this moment as it is. What I mean is that as humans, we are always less than satisfied with things as they are and we feel that since things are not to our liking we must change them - even to the point of trying to change the past (which we know from previous chapters, does not even exist except as memory). Note: We are speaking psychologically now, not about change involving improvement of health or human living standards. We seem to have this 'victimized' aura around ourselves that states: since we have been dealt such a rotten hand in life, we must fix everything, manipulate everything and change everything for our own betterment, and that includes those whom we hold very dear to us as well. And once we successfully change things, we will feel better and perhaps we will BE better; we will find happiness and peace. This is so far from the truth. This is a cause of so much of our own needless personal suffering and it effects all those around us in our relationships.
Maturity in the path of positive mental health, spirit or realization dictates that one of the first things we need to understand is that when it comes down to it the only thing we can change is our very selves from within: our own perceptions and awareness of our selves as we are. There is tremendous wisdom here if you can see it and tremendous freedom from insecurity and fear. By simply turning within and honestly observing ourselves as we are instead of deflecting our situation on outside factors, we can begin to see that it is our reactions, our guilt, our blame and the constant gnawing feeling at the pit of our stomachs that we can't let things just be. These transient feelings which exist only in our own minds are our own self-induced dismay
Listen well, dear friend. The only thing you can change is you. Only you can change you. There is no outside power who will miraculously make everything better for you on the inside. No, you must make this journey yourself if you want to finally breath freely without anxiety and stress and without the worry of unfinished business from the illusory past. You see, deep within the core of your being is a gentle space where everything is already just right, where everything is as it should be. The only change you need to make in your life is to look within honestly and truthfully and see yourself as you are. There in the pure silence of this moment you have two options. One, you can continue to pretend that things are not going your way and obsessively try to alter that course and jump back into fantasies, addictions and egoism. Or two, you can realize that everything arises, exists and has completion within your very self and simply take a deep breath and surrender to this fact. In that surrender is the beginning of your liberation and your own change. It's all up to you now, and it always was.
"When
you think everything is someone else's fault, you will suffer a lot. When you
realize that everything springs only from yourself, you will learn both peace
and joy." HH Dalai Lama